I have a confession. (re: #tigerbloodtourney)

I cast false ballots in Fired Up! Missouri's Tiger Blood Tournament. In fact, it is likely that I decided the race between Speaker Steve Tilley (NBPP - Perry/Ste.Genevieve) and Jolie Justus (D - Freedom).  It was a decision that happened by fits and starts, but it was my decision.  I am not a man to step back from my decisions.  As such, I submit to you the facts of the situation as they presented themselves.  Mistakes were made.  Yet, I know without a doubt that, ultimately, I did what was right.  I took the action that no one else would and set the course of destiny down its true and proper path.

On Thursday evening, I checked in on the immensely enjoyable Tiger Blood Tournament.  At that time, there was nothing particularly stunning happening in the voting, although there was a lot of jocularity on twitter surrounding the event.  I noticed that most of my picks were doing pretty well, watched a couple of the YouTube videos and headed to bed.  However, the following morning I was treated to this shocking tweet from Senator Jolie Justus.

Now, any fool can see that either Tilley had members of his New Black Panther Party up all night clicking on tiny radio buttons while plotting to give St. Louis control of the Missouri Highway Patrol and install NBPP members to the controlling board giving Tilley his own private army just in time to wrestle control of the state from Lt. Gov. Tweets-a-lot (R - Where the hell did we get this guy?)...OR somebody was running a votebot. As the votes for Tilley continued to soar, I contemplated the situation.  How could this have happened? As her previous contests had shown, Jolie Justus has to be the most universally liked politician that has ever held elected office.  Not long ago, I would have sworn that politicians had developed a forcefield to keep all that was good and honest out of the halls of every Capitol in the country.  Then Jolie Justus came along.  For goodness' sake, just look at her name.  Now, say it out loud it sounds even better.  Clearly this woman came directly from the planet Krypton to fight for truth, justice and the Missouri way.

Something had to be done...

Now, I'm no Jolie Justus. Which is good, because that would be weird.  However, I've heard a cliché or two in my day and it just so happens that "fight fire with fire" is one of them.  I really don't understand that, because I thought you were supposed to fight fire with water.  Water beats fire, fire beats earth, earth beats water.  Am I right??  Anyway, I happen to have written a little program or two in my day.  So, I set out to even the score. FOR GREAT JUSTUS!

While the robot minions of Team Tilley stuffed the ballot boxes with thousands of fraudulent votes, I toiled away through my lunch hour.  I gave up sushi!  Damn you, Steve Tilley.  Despite already being behind by what looked like an unrecoverable margin, I dedicated myself to leveling the playing field for the sake of justice (or at least Justus, but whatever).  In less than the amount of time it would have taken for me to consume a delicious caterpillar roll at Sushi Sen, I had created a monster.  Well, actually a robot...or...an Android.

That's right.  I defeated Team Tilley's band of robot minions with a single, solitary cellphone.

It comes down to this: I had to be home in time for dinner.  I simply couldn't sit around the office until 5 waiting for voting to finish so that I could be sure that the NBPP hadn't swarmed the polls in a last ditch effort to keep the lead.  So, my votebot went mobile.  While I drove home, my phone executed a program that I am lovingly calling "Absentee Ballot".  It gave back to Jolie Justus the comfortable lead that she so rightly deserved.

I am proud of my little Samsung Captivate.  She did her part to restore Justus to the Tiger Blood Tournament.  Now that the world has been set right and Missouri snatched from Steve Tilley's clutches, I am retiring my little program.  But let this be a warning to those who would try to take the reins of Democracy from the hands of The People...wherever voter fraud rears it's ugly head, Absentee Ballot will be there and so will the Justus League.